Discomfort in the midst of favor

Today I asked God for favor, something that I have as a Son. In the midst of favor, my faith in the promise was tested. I had to endure some discomfort as God was showing me that he got this! It’s so easy for the enemy to feed on our insecurities and regrets to make us feel that God is not big. Time for that to stop. My God is big.  As a parent it hurt as I left my baby with my sister to go on another boat as we were heading to the twin island Tobago for holidays. We had to split up in the midst of uncertainty. I had a confirmed ticket to start off but my son didn’t. My belly hurt, literally as he was tugging on my dress saying mummy I want to go with you! If you know me personally once I have time with my son I don’t leave him and go unless he doesn’t want to go or I really can’t take him. He was upset and that hurt cause I was there thinking lord did I make a bad move. Is this how you was gonna come through for us today or am I making a selfish decision? I had to take a moment because I was at a cross road. My prayer wasn’t being answered the way I thought it would. Classic me, asking God for something an expecting him to do it my way. I began to doubt my decision “is this how we are suppose to travel today”. I was believing God for my family to get tickets to go to tobago (given the boat woes) but in my mind I had an order of how it should take place.

The leading hand of the father

I stood in the drizzling rain as I waited for my nephew to cross the traffic lights to check his ticket and I am talking to God. Saying lord should I leave my son, this is really uncomfortable for me? This was all I had to say in this moment but i was reminded of my prayer this morning. I asked for favor for me and my family that we all will get to go to tobago today. I took his tickets and went to check the tickets for my nephew and myself. The attendant asked me a vital question at that time. Are you traveling with the vehicle? Still I am talking to God regretting and not sure of should I go.

Even while writing this, I am actually writing so that I am calm that my mind focuses on God’s plan and not my regret. I called my sister and she said “we will get through, I will call you when we get the tickets”, it’s like she is reenforcing that Gods got it. Yet I am worried, why because I allow my flesh to speak out in the midst of this trying time where I am suppose to trust Gods outcome.

Just this week I was reminiscing on the fact that every time I ask God to take control of something I have no control over, he does and blows my mind. He does things in my life and I look back and say to myself, Del, you worry for nothing. I do sometimes doubt to no effect, I believe that he is teaching me to trust him with everything. To trust his outcome even though I don’t see things happening the way I think it should. Then again that’s God for you, his ways are higher than ours he sees my future and knows why events must take place and in what order.

Thanks be to my God, my source, my direction without you I would have been a headless chicken…
Ps. God came through y’all yet again he is saying Del you worry for nothing I got this, I have your life in my hands… our vacation is in progress!

Have a great week all and Gods blessings. Let’s continue to build on that love relationship with our father because we have divine access to him through Jesus!

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