The word of God has thought us to be selfless and humble in so many ways, but in order to be selfless and humble we must draw these characteristics from the life of Christ and apply to ourselves before we can demonstrate to others. Outside of our relationship with God, the most important relationship we should tend and cultivate is relationship with self.
Its seems farfetched right but we should love self before before others. Let’s take a look at scripture:
Matthew 22:37-39 NKJV says “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?” Jesus said to him, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’
We can only demonstrate love for others through the same measure we love ourselves. The formula therefore is love God, self, then the same way we love ourselves is the same way and extent we will love others.
Why is it so hard for me to love me?
Self love almost seems as its a crazy thought, but it is in loving self we learn, our identity, value, worth, we gain esteem, forgiveness, strenght and emotional stability. I have never learnt how to love me as a child growing up, maybe if I had learnt to truly love me before loving others I would understand relationships and people better. The time taken to study who I am is therefore vital in sharing the love of God.
Over the course of our lives we learn from our culture, family, friends, relationships, job, movies, the world. We allow our experiences (external factors) to determine our identity but our identity is wrapped up in God, in our pursuit of him we get to know who we are.
If our identity is based on the external, we are open game for brokenness.
The world would tell me who I should be in appreance, dress, figure, weight, finances, relationship status, you name it. If we ask ourselves some personal questions it would takes some serious thought to lay down the answers. Why because knowing me can be a difficult task. We should however strive to know ourselves and in knowing and loving self we can then be confident and choosie with our lives and who we allow to impact us.
What does self love look like?
I know I love me when:
- I am secure/ content in self.
- When I understand where my identity comes from (The Christ in Me) and walk in it.
- When I can work on me (self development) for me and not because “the world” or others says so.
- When who I am can be seen through my actions, dress, influence. I should not reflect someone else’s opinion of me.
- When I can unselfishly love and seek the best for others, just as God commanded us. Read 1 John 3.
- When I see myself the way God (the stable and never changing one) does.
Lets draw from the example of what God says about me from Ephesians 1:3-7, it says:
- I am Blessed with every Spiritual Blessing.
- I am Chosen.
- I am Holy (set apart) and blameless.
- I am Adopted into the family of Christ.
- I am Accepted.
- I am Redeemed.
- I am Forgiven.
- I am Gracelavished.
In loving me, I should walk as one who draws strength from the word of God. There is so much we can learn about self, let’s embark upon this journey of self love so we can demonstrate to others.