Imagine lying on a hospital bed already prepared for surgery, prayed up and in worship mode and this thought comes. “This seams all too good to be true, maybe something will happen in surgery that you didn’t pray for, but that’s ok maybe that’s how God will show his glory”. Sounds logical right and something that seems agreeable, but no, these thoughts were contrary to what I have been praying for.
Earlier that day a friend sent me Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV, a scripture that we all know too well. The moment that thought came to mind, I was reminded of that passage.
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
God gave me the weapon against those thoughts, his word. I had to arrest that thought immediately if I wanted to continue in peace and faith. I began to speak to myself saying, “If the Lords thoughts towards me are not evil and promotes peace then this thought is a lie”. Choosing to believe this word, killed that negative thought immediately. Thinking that something bad will happen was not me being hopeful. That’s when I realized that the enemy was attacking me very strategically, mixing the negative with what might be Gods will.
Could it be that often times we do this to ourselves, we look at the outcome of our situations in our own way. Showing God that this is what I prayed but if you did it the way I just thought as well, then I will also see you in it. That is wavering Faith, if we are having faith for something just have faith, could it be that focusing on the contrary causes it to actually happen sometimes?
We were declaring peace, the word spoke and released peace, but that which prompted no peace came to cause panic. The weeks leading up to surgery and all the procedure I had to go through, made me want to give up. My thoughts were, “If everything up to this point has been delays and hiccups then what is going to happen In surgery”? I literally wanted to give up and cancel the possibility of surgery. I called my friend and in her know it all voice, she said “Del, did you pray about this”? Obviously my response was no, then she said, “ok goodbye 🙄, you know what you have to do”. I was all up in my own thoughts and emotions and didn’t even realize that I didn’t talk to the one that I gave all this process to (read Psalms 139 in the passion translation bible (TPT)).
I had peace about doing the surgery but everything came at me to disrupt that peace that passes all understanding. Having a community of believers to back me was so important in this season of my life. I saw community work for me in such a way that I just want this for every believer. Persons that will prop our hands when they are falling down, those that will war for and with us, those that will view our battle as theirs, those that will just be there as our strength. Two minutes before being wheeled in I felt a total release and the peace of God that just really surpassed all my understanding and reasoning. Then I received another message stating;
Perfect peace as your mind stays steadfast on Him and trusts in Him.
Perfect peace ❤️
Imagine that, being in a state of mind and God just confirms it through your people, it will forever blow my mind.
God has done so much during this time to show me that he hears me and is even listening to my quite thoughts and prayers. My surgery was successful and ran so smoothly, recovery is going good, blessing to my ABBA!
I just want to bless and thank everyone, friends, family for being there for me during this time 😘 and beyond. Hope this piece encourages someone in whatever way God wants it to, blessings.